The One Leaving

We’re busy. But busy doesn’t even begin to describe it. Not only are we working, we are also trying to get plane tickets, and reserve space for the animals on two different airlines, and pack out our house, and I have to find a job, and say goodbye to our friends, and, by the way, we also just bought a house and a car in the U.S. from Tajikistan. So, just a little busy as you can see.

While this is going on around us, internally I’ve been all over the map. And the one thing that has been making me crazy, is well-meaning people making comments like this:

“I’m sure you’re just [insert emotion here].”

“Don’t you think part of that is [insert emotion here]?”

“Aren’t you [insert emotion here]?”

No. I’m not.

I’m not excited. I’m not nervous. I’m not sad. I’m not anxious. I’m not overwhelmed. I’m not fed up.

I’m all of those things, all at the same time. And, also, none of those things.

In the past two years I’ve been the newcomer, the one who watched all their friends leave, and now, the one leaving. In my personal opinion, being the only leaving is the worst. Not only are you doing all the things I mentioned above, you’re also trying to hang on emotionally as your departure date looms ever closer.

So please, bear with me these next few weeks. And stop trying to tell me how I’m feeling. I don’t even know myself.


Leave a Reply