Friends Like These

Over the years I’ve come to realize the following about myself: I’d rather have a few good friends, than a ton of so-so friends. In this transient lifestyle, it means more to me to be able to stay connected to people who genuinely know me than to try to have to explain myself to new people all the time. I’m a pain in the ass and can be a bit cold upon a first impression but actually really loyal once I decide you aren’t going to take advantage of my time (been there done that more times than I care to admit).

When it comes to friends, Stephanie and Megan are top tier. I met them both my freshman year of college, and they have remained two of my favorite people ever since. I know I can call on them at all hours (and often do, time difference problems) with anything from “what nail polish should I use,” to “I ate all the chocolate in the house and now my face is breaking out and I need to bitch about that fact that I have acne and wrinkles and what the fuck skin,” to “holy crap we are all turning 30 and what the hell does that mean in terms of having children?!” They are the best.

I don’t know everything there is to know about picking friends – and I’ve made my fair share of mistakes in the past – but if you’re looking, here’s what I think is essential:

Get yourself some friends:

  • Who fly across the country to see you when you are stateside for the first time in a year working at your annual meeting.
  • Who cram three deep into a king-size bed because that’s all you have in your hotel room that first night and it’s not even a little weird.
  • Who play Head’s Up at a bar loudly and obnoxiously and make friends with a random bachelorette party because you know what? Fuck Chad.
  • Who don’t judge you – or at least kindly judge you – when you go into an American grocery store for the first time in a year and start hyperventilating. Same with Target.
  • Who understand your obsession with Sephora.
  • Who are honest about the dress you’re trying on that no, Kristen, it doesn’t fit, put it back.
  • Who have a loud half-drunk slightly-inappropriate conversation in a small but crowded restaurant.
  • Who play this hand during Cards Against Humanity:

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  • Who are happy to relax at the Air B&B and watch Rick and Morty or Big Mouth because we are tired from walking around all day and just need some good wholesome adult cartoons.
  • Who don’t get annoyed when you stop every 10 seconds to take a photo at the Chalk Art Festival, Red Rocks, Flat Irons, Denver Botanic Gardens, etc.
  • Who unironically go to an unapologetically millennial bar with grown-up punch bowls (we’ve come so far!), bowling, board games, trivia, VR, and arcade games, and then leave by 10:00 pm.

But most importantly, find yourself some friends who don’t let the years of separation and distance come between you.

In short, find yourself some friends like these:

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But not these two, exactly. They are mine.

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