A month from now we will be a few days from my 31st birthday. We will be well into fall and pumpkin spice and apple season. We will be about four weeks away from baby girl’s arrival.
We will also be back in Maryland.
It’s hard to believe we are a few weeks away from packing our whole life into boxes and suitcases once again for a trans-Atlantic move. Especially since we’re at that weird phase of still trying to live our normal lives since the movers don’t come for another week but also trying to sort out which items go in which shipment. I’m itching to get things organized but with our little house, I also don’t want to be living amongst piles of stuff and packed suitcases until I absolutely have to.
I’m familiar with this kind of stress, but this year is – obviously – particularly unique for two reasons: 1) I’m nearly eight months pregnant, and 2) we’re in the midst of a devastating global pandemic. Add in one of those factors to a normal PCS and I’d say it’s enough to feel out of control. Add in both, and, well, I’m feeling lots of feelings to put it lightly.
I think if we weren’t moving home before this little girl’s arrival I could whole-heartedly be sad about leaving Georgia, but since I know what the next chapter holds – me holding my baby girl – I’m beyond anxious and ready to get on with things. I want to be able to fully focus on preparing for our newest addition but I can’t really do that until we get to Maryland. I can’t paint. I can’t order things for her. I can’t take any prenatal classes since I’m working two jobs plus trying to organize for a PCS. I just want to get home so I can focus on what’s coming next instead of living in both worlds in my head.
I also don’t have that same sense of relief returning home that I did when we left Tajikistan. Georiga has done a great job managing COVID-19 and the U.S., well, hasn’t. I’m torn in half between feeling excited about being home and being so nervous about COVID being a real fear. All the joy and anticipation of returning to my favorite restaurants or stores is gone and instead replaced with thoughts of “will I even be able to visit Target? Or Vin 909? Will I go back to not leaving my house for months???
I could probably ramble on about this topic forever, but I’m going to end it here. I am, truly, doing ok. Everything will fall into place and suddenly it will all happen just like it always does. At the end of the day, as long as all five animals and two (and a half) humans make it back to DC in once piece I’ll chalk it up to a win.
Photos by Olga Slusareva Photography